The Invisible Load Mothers Carry Every Day—And How to Lighten It

Oct 7

Wondering why you feel constantly exhausted? Why your stress level is hitting the roof? Why you feel resentment boiling in your stomach?

It’s the invisible load which’s mainly on mothers. Let’s explore deeper what’s all that’s on our shoulders to feel relieved… that AHA moment… that it makes sense now. (I want you to feel seen🫶)

And then let’s go even further and find out what you CAN do about this load, how you can ease it.

Don’t get overwhelmed :D But I summarized a LONG list which shows how much we actually carry, most of the time unnoticed. Go through the list and raise your hand if you’re feeling the truth in it.

1, Mental & Emotional Load

Constantly thinking ahead — meal plans, school events, doctor appointments, birthdays, etc.
Remembering everyone’s schedules and needs.
Managing family emotions, moods, and conflicts.
Guilt for not “doing enough” or “being enough.”
Overanalyzing decisions (“Did I handle that right?”, “Should I have said no?”).

Hello overthinking…. over-worrying, anxiety…. , feeling “not good enough” having a million tabs open in your mind. (Are you rasining your hand?)

2, 🏠 Household & Daily Management Load

Being the default planner and organizer.
Keeping track of groceries, laundry, cleaning, and home supplies, school emails and events
Packing school bags, preparing snacks, and remembering extracurricular gear.
Managing clutter, size of clothes, everyone’s wardrobe
Handling unexpected disruptions — sick kids, lost items, forgotten homework.

Hello being the default parents who keeps track of things, clothes size and school emails and whose calendar goes to trash when kids get sick? (Are you rasining your hand?)

3, 👩‍👧 Parenting & Care Load

Being “on call” 24/7 emotionally and physically.
Managing bedtime routines, tantrums, school drop-offs, and playdates.
Coordinating with teachers, coaches, or childcare providers.
Advocating for the child’s needs (medical, emotional, academic).

Hello being the one ON 24/7. (Are you raising your hand?)

4, ❤️ Relationship & Social Load

Maintaining connection with partner despite exhaustion.
Managing in-laws, family expectations, and social commitments.
Remembering to check in with friends but rarely having time for real connection.

Hello being the one who tries to maintain a social life and think about family events. (Raising your hand?)

5, 💼 Identity & Self Load

Juggling personal dreams, career goals, and motherhood roles.
Pressure to “bounce back” or stay productive.
Lack of time for self-care or hobbies that recharge you.
Feeling invisible

Funny, we don’t say WORKING DAD and dads are rarely asked how they balance family and career (….) (we LOVE dads… it’s just the F double standards)
Hello trying to do it all at once. (Raising your hand?)

6, 🧠 Invisible Mental Scripts

“If I don’t do it, no one will.”
“It’s easier to do it myself than explain it.”
“I should be able to handle this.”
“Good moms don’t complain.”

Hello nasty selftalk, never “good enough”. (Raising your hand?)

How many times did you raise your hand?

That’s it.

See …how many things are on our shoulders? No wonder that you feel exhausted, stressed and if you constantly feel drained and that all these efforts are unnoticed… even resentful.

So if you’re feeling exhausted, snappy, or just done — it’s not because you’re weak.
It’s because you’ve been carrying too much, for too long, without enough rest, help, or recognition.

You’re not failing — you’re doing the impossible.
And it’s okay to put some of it down.

Because you deserve to breathe, too. 💗

How to ease the invisible load?

We have many many things on this list, but it matters what drains You most, what’s maybe less energy for you? Therefore the exact tools have to be also customized to you. Pay close attention what triggers you the most? Why?

Here is a list of 5 things which will help you to lighten this load guilt-free:

Name them - Share them - Delegate them
What’s on your shoulder? Start voicing what you’re actually carrying. Think which ones drain you most, where would you need support?
Write them down, put them out on the calendar so your pratner can also step in.
Delegate like a pro - Be specific: “Can you pack the school snacks this week?” is more effective than “I need help.”
Drop the Perfect Mom Myth
Perfection is the biggest thief of peace. You don’t need to do it all, and certainly not perfectly.
Let good-enough be GOOD ENOUGH.
Order takeaway, skip the vacuuming, buy the store-bought cupcakes — it’s still love, just without the burnout.
Protect Your Recharge Time
You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Block time for yourself the way you would for your child’s appointment — because it’s just as important.
A 10-minute coffee alone, a short walk, a podcast that inspires you — these aren’t luxuries, they’re maintenance.
Find Your Support Circle
Motherhood isn’t meant to be done solo. It can feel so isolating… and as if it would be only YOU drowning…
Share, vent, connect — with friends, moms, or a coach who gets it.
Talking doesn’t just lighten the load — it reminds you you’re not the only one carrying it.
Remember: You’re Not the Backup Plan — You’re the Heartbeat
You don’t have to earn rest.
You don’t need permission to pause.
You deserve support and space, not just survival.

And now if you would ask me… very well Eszter but then WHO THE F WILL DO that long list?

I would answer..

Maybe no one… and nothing will happen. (Read my blogpost about How to juggle it all for the answer)
Or maybe your partner…
Or maybe YOU… but only the most important ones and will be OK with letting things go.

The point is: the invisible load will weigh you down until you notice yourself how much you’re doing and are ready to share the load or let go…

We have to learn how to say NO, how to not give a sh*t, how to delegate and how to ask for support.
You’re a human with human capacity and immense load you carry.

You’re doing your best and that is GOOD ENOUGH.
What would you like to let go?

Where would you like to have more support?

What’s the next smallest step you can take in order to lighten the load?

If you need support, I can help. I can help you to drop guilt, have more selfcare, confidently say NO, stop overthinking, create a life which includes YOU too. Book your free consult HERE. You deserve to lighten the load and be able to FEEL alive again.

Eszter B Szabo