How to juggle it all?
Do you often feel overwhelmed and are completely drowning in all the things you SHOULD do? You’re so not alone. Many of us try to do it all… which is simply IMPOSSIBLE. So then… is there a way to juggle it all?
Or all we all sentenced to suffer forever by keep trying?
First, let’s begin with understanding where all this shit is coming from. I swear it’s gonna be worth it.
Let’s go back just a few decades and see how life was for mothers:
1950s–1960s: The Era of "Mother's Little Helper"
“In the post-war period, societal norms idealized the image of the content housewife and mother. However, many women experienced feelings of isolation, dissatisfaction, and mental distress.
Rather than addressing these issues through supportive measures, the medical community often resorted to prescribing medications. Notably, in 1963, Valium (diazepam) was introduced and quickly became the most prescribed drug in the United States by 1969. Marketing campaigns targeted housewives, suggesting that these tranquilizers were the solution to their emotional struggles, leading to widespread dependency without addressing underlying causes.” /The Telegraph, Cambridge University Press & Assessment/
1990s–2000s: The Burden of Intensive Mothering
“The concept of "intensive mothering" gained prominence, emphasizing that mothers should be the primary caregivers, deeply involved in every aspect of their children's lives. This ideal placed immense pressure on women to meet unrealistic standards, often without adequate support systems. The shift from community-based child-rearing to isolated nuclear families exacerbated feelings of loneliness and stress among mothers.” / The Guardian/
2010s–Present: Acknowledgment Without Adequate Action
“In recent years, there has been increased recognition of maternal mental health issues. However, systemic support remains lacking. In the UK, between 2015 and 2020, health visitor numbers decreased by 37%, and budgets for Sure Start children's centres were slashed by 60%, leading to the closure of many facilities. These cuts have left many mothers without essential support during critical periods.
Moreover, delays in accessing mental health services persist. In 2022, approximately 18,953 mothers in England were denied care after seeking help for conditions like postnatal depression and anxiety.” /The Guardian/
…
Mothers have been DROWNING forever but instead of giving us real support, they prescribed medication to cope with the stress and “hysteria” (do you know by the way that hypnotherapy was first used on hysterical women??") and added even more to that expectation-list.
Familiar?
lack of support
increasing expectations
feeling isolated, left alone
Honestly, the expectations only intensified. Mothers are no longer "just" caretakers of home and children—they are expected to be emotionally available, endlessly patient, physically fit, professionally ambitious, socially active, and perfectly present… (and the list goes on)
And all of these pushed into our face every second thanks to social media.
So if you’re feeling overwhelmed and drowning… nope, you’re not alone and the problem is definitely NOT you.
I’ve been so loud about the Fcking expectations we face. This is also about this. That you SHOULD do all the things… that you SHOULD juggle it all… To comply with all…
But what if…. you SHOULDN’T? What if you don’t have to?
I’m sure you’ve seen those videos when the mother responds to this with: “Then who the F is going to do it?”
Which is part of the solution and the problem!
I wanted to share the historical background (and not even an extensive long one) so that you understand better how deeply rooted these conditionings are.
We are conditioned
to serve
to care for our families
to be selfless and put others first
And we do it willingly and with love. But.
I’ve news for you…
WE ARE ALSO HUMAN BEINGS WITH FINITE ENERGY AND CAPACITY.
The endless expectations and this deep conditioning to push down your own need and dreams… is only a recipe for burnout and resentment.
So my solution to HOW JUGGLE IT ALL?- is that you don’t. You let things go… you let things explode… you prioritize and balance, and readjust the balance…
We’re not robots so let’s stop trying to be one.
If you' feel like you can’t do more and you’re drowning… then let things explode… let go of the control and be OK with the things you CAN do.
The interesting part here is that how can you be OK with letting go, letting go of your perfectionism, your conditioning and feel good enough by doing your best?
My list is also always full. At the moment (just on the top of all the general things) I should sell their baby stuff, I should declutter the shoes and wardrobe, I should already start my podcast (I’m working on it in the background for a while now), I should search for more sport activity for them, I should find the best swimming class for them, I should find a French speaking babysitter to work on my LO’s language skills, I should be more active in the local mom support groups, I should work out more, I should … (literally still goes on:D) But I delete the SHOULDs from these… and know that I do my best and what I prioritize I’ll do. One by one. Not everything at once.
I can’t do everything at once and that’s OK.
At the same time I also do active steps for creating/hiring support for myself.
You don’t need to be a millionaire to hire a cleaning help, to hire a babysitter, to look up playdates and memberships in your area, to choose after-school activities, to hang out with friends and babysit for each other.
And you definitely don’t need to be a millionaire to have a conversation with your partner about fair-share, to simply let go of things and not prepare the 65. WTF for school, or simply let go of things and let them explode… If they explode you’ll deal with them then, if not, even better.
Let’s honor our humanity, our capacity, our personality.
Don’t try to squeeze yourself into the ‘perfect mom box’ who always IS juggling it all. That is IMPOSSIBLE.
Delegate, hire help, ask for support
Let go
Prioritize what’s truly important
And BE OK with doing you best, because that is exactly GOOD ENOUGH.
I could teach you more about delegation, prioritization, how to stop procrastinating, how to be more productive, how to get things done… But now it’s NOT about that. It’s about being OK to let things go.
Because the real solution requires you to let things go and be OK with “good enough”
You won’t feel the relief, the space to breathe if you constantly try to juggle it all, to be a perfect robot who just does everything.
NOPE. You’re a human who needs a break, who has a finite capacity, who has needs and also dreams.
If you want help with dealing with burnout, overwhelm I can help you. You need to let go of all the preconditionings and create a life that respects who you are and who you want to be. Enough of the expectations, become confident in creating your own way. Book your free consultation HERE and let’ chat.
Xx