Why modern modernhood feels like a burden?
Being able to speak about anything, telling the truth is so liberating. So let’s start with some of the hidden thoughts moms don’t admit they think… but actually there is NOTHING wrong with you if you have had any of these thoughts:
I wish I never had children
I wish I would be hospitalised so I can rest
I wish I wouldn’t have to ever work again
I love them, but I can’t be with them 24/7
This is not what I imagined
….
These are just thoughts… sentences in your brain. You’re not a bad mom for thinking any kind of thoughts. But the truth is… when you don’t supervise your brain and your brain is bombing you with these thoughts-> motherhood will suck. You’ll feel lost, trapped and constantly exhausted.
The curious thing though…. why do we have such thoughts? Because kids would be so terrible or we wouldn’t be cut out for motherhood? Nope.
We can’t deny (and I don’t want to) that motherhood IS hard. Motherhood IS exhausting. But it doesn’t have to feel like a burden.
I saw an article which was questioning why modern moms treat children like burden? (?!) It was rather about shaming moms that they can’t fully transform into true mothers and their ambitions and all the modern crazy shit are the reasons why they can’t be good mothers. (I read this article a while ago and now I can’t find it, but it was enough to read it once…)
OMG …how far from the truth.
I’m sure you’ve also seen those comments when older ladies (having nothing better to do) are commenting how ungrateful modern moms are, while back then they were raising 6+ children having much worse conditions…
It’s not the F point. It’s not a F competition. It’s not about who has it easier or who should now suffer accordingly. It’s more about what we can do NOW to make it better.
The reality is that the expectations rose like crazy and the support (that village) disappeared…
When you have to do more and more… while you have less and less help for doing it… that can Fcking well feel like BURDEN. And nope, not because of the kids!
Modern motherhood often feels like a burden for many moms today because of the intense and often conflicting pressures we face. (Unlike previous generations) today’s mothers are expected to “do it all” — and do it perfectly.
Unrealistic societal expectations: There’s pressure to be a full-time mom and succeed professionally, all while looking put-together and calm.
Isolation and lack of community: Many moms raise kids far from family or support networks, leading to loneliness.
Information overload: Constant exposure to parenting advice online can lead to confusion, guilt, and feeling like you’re never doing enough. (the information TSUNAMI)
Comparison culture: Social media creates curated versions of motherhood, making real-life struggles feel like personal failures.
Invisible labor: Moms often carry the mental and emotional load of running the household, which goes unrecognized and unshared.
Loss of identity: In the busyness of caring for everyone else, many moms lose touch with who they are beyond the role of “mom.”
These overlapping pressures can make what should be a meaningful experience feel overwhelming, exhausting, and heavy.
Not because of the kids!
Not because modern moms are way too ambitious or selfish!
Not because modern moms are weak!
But because of the Fcking expectations.
And wanna hear the craziest thing of all? We’re even afraid of talking about the hardships and the burden… because that would make us look “unfit” for motherhood, we would be “bad moms” … so the heaviest of these all is to try to comply anyhow with the expectations while we put on a mask and hide our real feelings.
And that is a big problem.
Why is it such a big deal to admit that motherhood can feel so isolating and tiring?
Why would it be bad to talk about how exhausting and challenging motherhood can feel like?
Nope, it doesn’t mean we don’t like our kids Brenda. Nope it doesn’t mean we don’t wanna be moms. It simply means that it is hard and we’re drowning. Admitting it is the fisrt step to the solution.
Motherhood feels like a burden because of the endless expectations. But. Why is then that some moms are drowning and some others seem to better navigate motherhood?
Bear with me because I go even beyond the expectations…because
What matters most is WHO YOU ARE and WHAT YOU DO about those expectations.
If you’ve always dreamed about being a mom, and being with your kids doesn’t drain your energy and you happily comply with the “being with your kid 24/7” expectation… then voila… it’s not a burden for you.
On the other hand if you’re someone who loves her job and needs also some adult time/selftime, then forcing yourself to be a stay at home mom or forcing yourself to spend every given second with your kids will feel like a burden.
So why modern motherhood can feel like a burden?
The first layer of the problem is THE EXPECTATIONS not motherhood.
The second layer of the problem is YOU trying to comply with the F expectations (trying to squeeze yourself into the box because that’s what good girls do… they follow the rules and do what’s “right”) without taking into consideration your capacity, personality, needs and life circumstances.
The third layer of the problem is that you wanna do this “right” so you try to comply with the expectations and constantly do more and better without admitting your real feelings, the challenges or where you would need support
So you end up feeling a lot of frustration, resentment, exhaustion.
But not because of motherhood.
But because you don’t respect who you are and what your needs are, but try to fit in a box which is too tight.
How to ease then the burden? How to bring more joy and YOU into motherhood?
Understanding all of these above is already a huge step ahead. No, there is nothing wrong with you! We have been just fed these lies that we “should do this and that” for so long, and our preconditioned brain is happily acting as per the old programming so we are following the rules like good girls.
Ready to ease the burden and liberate yourself?
You need to become more confident and resilient so you can shake things up. Change what you want to change in your life, choose what feels best for YOU and handle all the emotions like guilt, insecurity and “not good enough”.
You’re the best mom for your kids. Period. The way to ease the burden is to find out what you want and bring those wants and needs into your life. Yepp, you deserve that.
That’s exactly what we do in MOM-RECHARGED. I coach you weekly for 12 weeks so we can bring all those beliefs and preconditionings to the surface and you become stronger, more confident and your joyful version.
You deserve that. And your kids deserve that version of you too.
Book your free consultation HERE and see how you can ease the burden and enjoy your life again as a mom.
Xx