The Secret Ingredient to Thriving as a Mom? Confidence.
I remember only vaguely what exactly happened in those first few weeks as a newmom, everything seems blurry but some images are crystal clear, some memories are very sharp. I remember how I was taken aback that “it’s definitely NOT what I imagined” and that “there must be something wrong with me because I don’t want THIS”
Weeks went by and the expectations started to grow…
to breastfeed, but not too often
have selftime to regulate but be available to the baby 24/7
to soothe a screaming baby when you’re a nerve wreck yourself
to look like a human-being again…
My little girl was vomiting back a lot of milk so we started to test her for reflux etc… then we even had to go through a breastfeeding strike.. and I remember vividly that so many times I simply felt LOST. How the F should I know what to do? The doctor said something… the midwife something else… moms and the internet again something other… I felt like sh*t, exhausted and confused…
And the expectation list just kept growing.
Prepare to go back to work
Pick the “right” daycare
Prepare my baby for daycare
Start the solids (having 3 different types of view of introducion)
and …so…on…
I’ve seen this so many times in my praxis how this confusion/ perfectionism/ feeling lost is robbing mothers of the joy of motherhood.
When you feel lost… and start to panic.
When you doubt yourself and your choices and keep checking the internet and momgroups.
When you don’t dare to listen to your intuition, but overthink every decision.
When you keep doubting yourself and feel “not good enough” you’re always looking for the new trends, what to follow, how to do it finally “right” which eventually will result in facing more and more (several times conflicting) expectations. It’s impossible to comply with all the expectations so again you would feel that you fall short = you’re not good enough. A vicious circle.
The way to solve this… is to grow your confidence.
Confidence in motherhood is not a luxury—it’s a necessity.
When you feel confident, you make clearer decisions, set healthier boundaries, and model self-worth for your children.
It’s NOT arrogance, it’s not about being a “knowitall”, it’s simply trusting yourself and your own intuition and intelligence to figure it out and doing “good enough”.
Building confidence helps you to navigate motherhood with more ease, joy, and resilience. It allows you to trust your instincts, embrace imperfection, and feel more grounded even on the toughest days.
Whether you're a new mom or deep into the journey, growing your confidence can transform not just your life, but your entire family's well-being. Prioritizing your self-belief is one of the most powerful things you can do—for yourself and for your kids.
Think about …what do you do, how do you feel (overall) when you keep doubting youself?
You’re shrinking in and checking your phone, keep comparing yourself to impossible standards and try to do everything perfectly, just to face the reality that you can’t and… your brain can use this evidence that you’re NOT doing good enough, that you need those external opinions to learn, to do it “right”.
VS
Think about… what do you do, how do you show up when you feel confident?
You make decisions quicker without second guessing. You do less, because you accept that your “good enough” is enough. You can be more present with your family because you don’t aim for the impossible idealised BS. You can breathe without anxiety… you can truly enjoy motherhood in that messy mix, your unique version that YOU have.
Now that I convinced you :D that you truly want to work on your confidence… now I hear you asking…
‘Well it’s all great Eszter - but HOW can I be more confident? when…
I’m not…. I never was… I’m not a confident person… I don’t know how…’
I’ve good news for you! That’s all just bullshit.
There is no such thing as “someone is born confident” or “you’re not a confident person”. Confidence is a FEELING and you can practice feeling it, you can rewire your brain to have those neuropathways in ;)
I give you now 3 steps you can take in order to grow your confidence;)
Start with your self-talk: Notice the way you speak to yourself. Notice the criticism, or when you say several “SHOULD or SHOULN’T”. Replace self-criticism with words of encouragement and compassion.
Celebrate small wins: Confidence builds when you acknowledge your daily victories—no matter how small. The brain is wired to look for the negative. You already doubt yourself and feel “not good enough” so your brain is listing ALL the evidence why that’s correct. Let’s flip it. Direct your mind to your victories. All the tiny things matter. (that you made breakfast, that you did the grocery shopping or searched for playgroup activities, that you DIDN’T yell in a heated situation…)
Invest in your growth: Read, join workshops, restart your hobby, start a new hobby -just have a taste, or work with a coach—anything that helps you reconnect with who you are beyond being "just a mom."
And… the plus 1… the non-plus-ultra …the MAGIC - rewire your brain for CONFIDENCE.
PRACTICE being confident.
How do you know that you’re confident, what exactly do you feel in your body? Most probably you drop your shoulders, your chest is expansive, your back is straight. Practice this power pose as often as needed.
If you want to grow your confidence, I can help. If it’s one specific area I would suggest a change session where we work with your body and create new neuropathways so you can show up confidently in that specific situation.
If you feel overall lost in the craziness of motherhood I would invite you to Mom Recharged. You’ll be transformed in just 12 weeks and confidence is definitely one of the key elements in the program:)
Book your free consultation HERE. (at the time of writing this blogpost I work 1:1, you can book this free consultation where we decide together whether we’re a match, you can ask questions and I’ll see whether you’re fit for my style of coaching)
Don’t forget. You can be a confident person it’s not a quality you have or don’t have;)
Don’t forget to notice the sceptical voice in your head and PRACTICE feeling confident.
Xx