Feeling the exhaustion AND the love AND the guilt - honestly about “back to school”
I’m pissed. Fcking pissed. That we’re still here… we (as society) couldn’t rise to that level of emotional intelligence that… FEELING ANY FEELING IS OK.
What did piss me off like this?
Comments. From assh*les. No, not my trolls… just nobodies on the internet on others’ posts.
Have you seen these comments / Have you heard about these or experienced yourself?
In nutshell the scenario is that a mom is admitting how tired/overwhelmed/exhausted she is by the end of the summer holiday and she can’t wait for school to start. Wherever you are on the exhaustion-meter… you can feel for her, totally agree with her, be her or whatever…
But no… there are others who HAVE to tell their opinion… and not only their opinion, but they have to SHAME, CRITICISE and JUDGE the mother for sharing/venting/admitting any of that.
Because THEY make it mean that she is a bad mom, she shouldn’t have had kids and those poor kids deserve better, she’s not cut out for motherhood etc.
I remember vividly one particular comment - “If you can’t be with your own kid for 2 months, you shouldn’t have had kids”
WTF?
like… WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
I’m definitely THE mom who is counting back the days until school starts AND I’m an amazing mom, but at least a good enough mom surely.
Because guess what Brenda… we’re not counting back the days so we NEVER see our kids again, so we don’t have to play with them AT ALL, so we don’t spend any more fun time with them EVER…
We’re simply counting back the days because we need a bit of a break.
So let’s clarify 3 Fcking big misconceptions here:
1, Misconception 1 - You’re only a good mom if you’re ALWAYS with your kids and you enjoy EVERY second of it.
Well… nope. There is no such thing as how many minutes you have to stay together so you qualify as good enough mom. And definitely there is no such BS as enjoying every second…
2, Misconception 2 - Wanting a break means that you don’t want to be with your kids anymore= you’re a terrible mother.
It’s not about NOT being with the kids, it’s about having some space and metime to breathe, to recharge so you can be again your better version with them. BIG NEWS… we’re also humans with human capacity, nervous system and we have basic human needs too. Wanting a break doesn’t make you a bad mom, just a human one
3, Misconception 3 - Feeling heavy feelings mean you don’t have the positive feelings anymore
As if admitting feeling overwhelmed and exhausted would kill love, gratitude and the connection with your kids. It does not. BIG NEWS again… we can feel several feeling at the same time and we’re capable of feeling ALL the feelings btw.
“Back to school” brings ALL kind of feelings and it’s OK
Back to school can bring relief, excitement, sadness, guilt, exhaustion… sometimes all before breakfast. And guess what? You’re allowed to feel every single one of them. It’s okay to count down the days until the routine returns, to secretly celebrate having a few hours to yourself again, and to feel a bit empty and miss the chaos the moment it’s gone.
Wanting your own time back doesn’t make you love your kids any less—it makes You human.
And maybe this is your reminder that back to school isn’t just about getting them ready for a new year. It’s a chance to come back to you too.
To put some energy into the woman behind “Mom,” reconnect with what lights you up, set goals that have nothing to do with school runs, and become a happier, more fulfilled version of yourself. Because your kids don’t need a mother who disappears into motherhood—they benefit from seeing a mother who is alive, growing, and unapologetically herself.
And if you feel now that feels too far… it’s not because it is actually far, it’s because you might need to recharge first a bit and start believing that you CAN be her.
The reason why these comments pissed me off AF is because they undermine the progress of normalizing the whole experience of motherhood AND hinder further moms from asking for help.
My real experience about back to school is honestly very much this.
I love my kids sooo much, we had a very good summer but not only great and fun. It was also overwhelming, stressful and overstimulating. I CHOSE to be with them and to spend most of the summer at my parents’. It was great but also chaotic. They need their routine back and I need mine.
As they went to a camp in the last few days - in the morning my daugther hugged me and said - ”I’m gonna miss you so much mom”
And I replied: “I’m going to miss you too. But having some routine back is good. You’ll enjoy playing with those kids and mommy will be happy to work today”
That’s it. She didn’t say anything more, just hugged me tighter. When I dropped them off in the morning they both happily went in without any question or resistance.
When I returned home I was exctatic to go to the gym, then had a looong shower, then had a fantastic client session and felt soooo ALIVE. In the afternoon it hit me first… the silence at home, that I miss them. And it felt GOOD. Because I couldnt’ wait to finish my day productively and run to pick them up.
Feeling any feeling is OK. Guilt is optional. (And Fcking NOT useful). You ARE a good enough mom just because you want a break, just because you need some metime, just because you feel exhausted/overstimulated or ANY feeling.
As school starts;) I’m opening up more spots to work with me. If you’re done self-sacrificing yourself to finally feel good enough - I can help. Let’s drop guilt and become your ALIVE version who knows what she wants, can create her “AND-LIFE” where you are a good mom AND more than a mom. Book your free consult HERE.